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Frozen Pizza- Break Box in Case of Emergency

  • Writer: Adam Horvath
    Adam Horvath
  • Apr 30, 2024
  • 2 min read

I’ve had the pleasure of eating great pizza all my life. It's one of the privileges of living in

the US Northeast: you know like paying high real-estate taxes and noshing on good bagels. It wasn't until I ventured outside the region though that I realized even our worst pizza is good, comparatively speaking. So, I wasn't entirely surprised to hear the opinionate backlash from my fellow Northeast Paisanos when I teased this frozen pizza story on Facebook.


I would never eat that trash ! -Why not go down the street for the real stuff?

-Your mutha eats frozen pizza!


Burn Baby Burn


Personally, I disagree with those haters, I think frozen pizza is like disco, there's a time and place for it.


And let me ask you this @Janette317, if you "keep that shit out the freezer", what are you throwing in the toaster oven at 2:00 am on a Saturday night after one too many drinks? if it's not a Tree Tavern Pizza with a drizzle of Frankie's 457 Calabrian Chili infused olive oil and a shaving of Pecorino Romano, are you really trying hard enough in life?


I mentioned Tree Tavern because its airy yet sturdy crust makes it ideal for loading up with extra toppings. That, and I'm pretty sure Ellio's served at my school, is what I grew up on, but everyone has their own favorite. Are any of them better than "real" pizza? No. But that doesn't mean they aren't good, especially with right amount of doctoring. A sprinkle of garlic powder here, a dash of pepper flake there and a heavy hand of grated cheese makes for a delicious, convenient treat!


According to Grandview Research, frozen pizza is a $7 Billion industry. That's not bad considering Joseph Bucci only received his flash freezing pizza patent in 1954. Before that, only a few grocers carried ready-made, refrigerated pies. Between the time Joe applied for the patent (1950) and received it (1954) many other likeminded entrepreneurs copied his formula following the typical foodigenous template. Thanks to Midwest pioneers like Tombstone, Mama Celeste and Totinos, frozen pizza spread nationwide to parts of the country where it was still relatively uncommon. There's a great story online that reads, in order for Rose Totino to get a loan, she had to make a pizza for her loan officer because he had no idea what it was, that's kinda crazy for me to digest.


Nowadays, there are frozen pizzas for all dietary preferences with cauliflower crusts, chickpea flour, gluten free and vegan options often outnumbering the traditional brands we all grew up on like the Red Barons (interesting read) and DiGiorno's. In addition, regional styles are now getting a little national shine like the cracker crust, Provel cheese topped St Louis Style sold by Dogtown Pizza. In other words, frozen pizza is Hot Stuff and is Stayin Alive, and for all you snobs out there, stock up your freezers in case you catch a Saturday Night Fever, can't leave the house and need a bite to eat. Was that cringe, cause that felt a lil cringe?


What's your favorite brand and what are you putting on it, to spice it up? #dotell




8 comentarios


ZGelseycGrizeldac
13 may

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ZGelseycGrizeldac
13 may

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ZGelseycGrizeldac
12 may

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24 mar

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Liz Novotny
Liz Novotny
06 may 2024

My other half popped a frozen pizza in the other night ( won’t mention the brand ) but after one bite he angrily and in disgust of the bite said “ why the hell don’t we just only get Tree Tavern ??!! From now on that’s the only one we buy ! “

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