Vegemite? Then Again Vegemite Not?

Cyril Callister was a sadist. Okay, I have no idea if that’s true or not and because I’m not entirely sure of the statute of limitations for libel of the deceased, I’m gonna take that back. But even if the Australian chemist was a great guy, I'm guessing anyone who could invent the malty, salty and really awful tasting Vegemite spread in 1923 was definitely something. No disrespect to the Aussies who gobble the shit up, I love Australia. I mean who doesn’t enjoy spiders the size of your head, great white sharks, Mad Max and chlamydia riddled koala bears, although they are really cute. I just simply don’t understand the appeal of the thick, dark yeast extract spread and that's exactly why you need to give it a try, because what do I know?

If you've never tried Vegemite and want to know what it tastes like, imagine sucking on a beef bouillon cube. If you've never done that, don't, but a spoonful of Vegemite reminds me a lot like the latter despite the fact it's vegan. Wikipedia says it's because they both share high levels of glutamates which brings the stark umami savoriness. I used to think I liked that umami sensation, now I'm questioning it.

He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich

If you're around my age or maybe have cool parents that listen to Eighties music, you've probably heard of a Vegemite Sandwich in Men at Work's song Down Under. It's barely a sandwich; two slices of buttered bread with a thin coat of spread; almost like an Aussie peanut butter, but also nothing at all like it. According to Healthline.com, Vegemite is made from leftover brewer’s yeast, salt, malt and vegetable extract and is packed with vitamin B which makes it very attractive for parents to give their children at a young age. So that makes sense, Australian kids are groomed to like it. Even I enjoyed bacon, liver and onions as a kid which quickly ended when I learned that liver was basically the catfish of the body. We often like what we are brought up on.

I almost never write anything negative about a foodigenous and while I will undoubtedly never eat another Vegemite sandwich again for the rest of my life, I can see it being used as a substitute for meat broth in a vegetarian stew or soup. In addition, there are several recipes for nachos, stir fry and even pizza. Obviously, I will have to take your word for how good they are though, cause I'm probably not going to try them. But again, what the hell do I know. 27 million Aussies can't all be wrong.

Aussie Aussie Aussie, OI OI OI!

And for any of you that think I'm being a little hard and are maybe looking at that pic above thinking "hey that kinda looks like Nutella, how bad can it be?" Try it, then let me know :)